“I want these flowers to be imported from abroad. And the color should be deep purple as they would look great with the white ones in the garden”.
“Make sure all the dancers know their steps by heart. I don’t want any mistakes on the stage. Everything should be just perfect. It’s my wedding”
“My wedding outfit should be bought from the most expensive shop and the jewelries should be matching the attire completely.”
You must be wondering, who is this rich brat, spilling out orders to everyone. Well, it’s a bride and she is about to get married in a month. As obvious as it is, yes she has got a lot of plans and she wants everything to be perfect just as she has planned. She has been planning this wedding all along her life, even before she had met her soon to-be-husband. It is every girl’s dream to have one big fat wedding ceremony where she can be the center of attention. It is that ONE special day of her life. As wistful as it might sound, it is really the only ‘one’ day she can be all that she wants because after the ceremony she would be nothing but a puppet, the strings of which would be in somebody else’s fingers.
No I’m not an anti-feminist; I’m a realist who has witnessed many happy brides and the gloomy after-lives behind the shimmering weddings. And this is not a problem for many of those women. They accept it naturally and never regret of not building a life that could have financed their expenses and served them with dignity in their husbands’ family. As for me, I find it offensive.
Ever since young, I have grown up being the youngest of my two beautiful and talented cousin sisters. As I was the youngest, I knew very less about make-ups and all other girly stuffs, compared to them. I soon found myself to be ignored as time passed by and we grew up. Our mentalities changed and we went on our own paths of interest. One aspired to be an engineer and did very well on her studies while the other dreamed of being a lawyer and fled away to London to earn the degree. When they completed their studies, I was astounded to learn that their next big dream is to ‘get married and settle down’!
I wouldn’t blame anyone for their thoughts; it’s pretty common in many girls of their age. But then again, I’m of their age too, why does this thought bother me? And then I figured that my intentions are far dissimilar then theirs or any other women of my age.
The girls in the bridal attire, heavy makeup and tons of jewelry do not inspire me. Am I different? Perhaps I am because I do not want to live my life for the dream of becoming a beautiful bride and be the center of attention for one day. What inspires me is the persona of a strong independent woman who can pay her own bills; the one who would be looked up to, not because she is a new member to a new family, but because she holds a respectable position in the society.
And each day I am working hard for that.
For any woman, I believe that before dreaming of a fancy wedding, there are three key factors we should prioritize more than anything: Respect, Independence and Self-establishment.
- Respect yourself. Do not compromise your dignity with anything.
- Be independent. It’s easier to be able to make the right decisions of your life when you are dependent on none.
- Be self-established. You want something in your life? Go get it with your own money. Do not ask for it to your father, brother or husband as you will only be demeaning yourself in the process.
These three factors are extremely important for any woman who would want to survive with pride. These factors work in a cycle where one factor leads to another. Dream anything but before that, dream to be someone who cannot be crushed by anyone. Please don’t settle yet, without having conquered your fears of being dominated by others.
(All the photos belong to me clicked on wedding ceremonies of family, and are not permitted to be used anywhere).